DISCLAIMER: None of these stereotypes are mutually exclusive. Loosely based on company men I've had to deal with.
1. The Lonely Heart/PErsonal Problems
This company man is actually not to bad to deal with. He camps out in the logger just as soon as your rigged up and proceeds with a long winded monologue about his relationships, specifically what isn't working out. It could be about his significant other, his lack of a significant other, his kids, either way you come away with a very detailed understanding of his personal life.
The good news is he isn't generally too focused on the job, the bad news is you'll have a hard time focusing on the job while he shares his personal soap opera with you. It's kind of weird, because you don't really know the guy but after awhile you figure out most oilfield people have a grave yard of failed relationships and every once in awhile (or always), they wanna talk about it. All just part of being a person.
Lucky you.
Pros: he's not paying attention. If the job goes well, he'll be happy he didn't have to do anything and that you listened to him go on about Rachel.
Cons: If the job goes bad, his personal life is already unhinged. He won't react well.
The good news is he isn't generally too focused on the job, the bad news is you'll have a hard time focusing on the job while he shares his personal soap opera with you. It's kind of weird, because you don't really know the guy but after awhile you figure out most oilfield people have a grave yard of failed relationships and every once in awhile (or always), they wanna talk about it. All just part of being a person.
Lucky you.
Pros: he's not paying attention. If the job goes well, he'll be happy he didn't have to do anything and that you listened to him go on about Rachel.
Cons: If the job goes bad, his personal life is already unhinged. He won't react well.
2. The ANgry Bitter One
| Nobody knows who pissed in his cereal bowl or what happened to him, everyone just does their best to stay the fuck out of his way. He's a perpetually brooding, bitter asshole. He enjoys telling oilfield horror stories of all of the people he's ran off of location. No matter how well the job is going, he'll be sure to come out and bark at you something along the lines of there's this other company that does the same job in less time for half the money. He'll bitch and moan over signing the field ticket and his most extreme version will go so far as to accuse your company of being owned by "a bunch of Jews". He'll say sh*t that will make a roughneck wonder how he hasn't been reported to HR. He hates everyone and everything. He doesn't usually come out for the logger unless necessary and you'll dread it. Even jobs that go well are stressful with this company man. Even jobs with relatively mild issues turn into nightmares. He'll probably call your manager and complain, multiple times. Pros: He usually doesn't spend much time out in the logger. Cons: Everything. You'll dread dealing with him. |  |
3. The Cool One
He might be younger, middle aged or older, definitely knows his shit and crews like working for him. Most everyone likes the guy. You're genuinely happy if he comes out hangs out in the logger. He's fair and levelheaded: anyone he chewed out or kicked off location definitely deserved it. He's often known to fill in when a crew is short handed and not infrequently will jump in and help out. He's certified bad ass.
He pays lip service to corporate policies but in practice is really only about enforcing things that matter. He's more about actually directly addressing an issue there and then rather than writing someone up or calling their manager. If he spots someone doing something dumb, he'll likely have everyone huddle up on the tailgate, talk about it and skip the 'near-miss' paperwork that has the potential to get some poor SOB fired.
You don't fear having issues when he's on location, more than anything you don't want to disappoint the guy.
Pros: Best kind of company man.
Cons: If you have a problem, you're gonna feel like you let him down.
He pays lip service to corporate policies but in practice is really only about enforcing things that matter. He's more about actually directly addressing an issue there and then rather than writing someone up or calling their manager. If he spots someone doing something dumb, he'll likely have everyone huddle up on the tailgate, talk about it and skip the 'near-miss' paperwork that has the potential to get some poor SOB fired.
You don't fear having issues when he's on location, more than anything you don't want to disappoint the guy.
Pros: Best kind of company man.
Cons: If you have a problem, you're gonna feel like you let him down.
4. On His Phone
Typically, this company man is younger. He honestly doesn't know what is going on. It might be a relational controversy he's working out via text message, a fascinating newsfeed or a major candy crush addiction. Either way, he's paying minimal attention to what you're doing.
Pros: He doesn't know what's going on.
Cons: He doesn't know what's going on.
Pros: He doesn't know what's going on.
Cons: He doesn't know what's going on.
5. Old School As F*ck
This company man is old, usually good natured and full of interesting stories. He's been held at gunpoint in Angola, crashed in a helicopter in Indonesia and chased by a polar bear in Alaska. He'll size you up in an instant and if you've got your shit together and arrived to location in a timely manner, you'll get along fine. If you're lucky, he'll come out to the logger and tell you a couple of stories. He's done this shit for a long time, he might check on a couple of things but if he's sized you up as being competent, he'll pretty much leave you alone. If he wrote a book, you'd definitely buy it.
He might pay lip service to the corporate policies but knows he'd never be fired 'cause of his experience level or doesn't give a sh*t if he's fired. If there's problem, he'll be super calm - he's seen way worse, no point in getting excited.
Pros: Entertaining, great stories, calm.
Cons: He probably knows more than you and is buddies with someone high up in your company.
He might pay lip service to the corporate policies but knows he'd never be fired 'cause of his experience level or doesn't give a sh*t if he's fired. If there's problem, he'll be super calm - he's seen way worse, no point in getting excited.
Pros: Entertaining, great stories, calm.
Cons: He probably knows more than you and is buddies with someone high up in your company.
6. The wireline KNow-It-All
This company man may/may not actually be a wireline expert but he is guaranteed to be a pain in your ass.
The actual wireline experienced company man may reference things that may have been relevant when he was running a logger back in 1995 but were last applicable in 2001. Like if you had magnetic depth readings on your line. He'll delight in quizzing you questions geared towards showing his superior knowledge. He will spend excessive time in the logger and regal you with stories all while providing you with a commentary on your every move. You'll probably get a tension headache. Have aspirin. There's a slight chance he might be cool but usually not. He's rare but not necessarily fun to run into.
If he's only a self-declared wireline expert, brace yourself. He'll suggest with the authority of deity, jaw droppingly stupid things. The good news is your management will actively advocate that you ignore him, he will not. You're best bet in defeating him is to get your manager on the phone. That's what they get the big bucks for for. Once had to explain to one of these how adiabatic heating is a very real thing and can very really melt wireline and why I insisted on a slow pressuring up. He was sure the slow pressure up was the reason we were having issues falling.
Pros: Chances of him being cool are slim. If he is, there's a slight chance he'll be more understanding of any problems you have.
Cons: Headaches and having to argue about stupid things you shouldn't have to explain because he doesn't actually understand.
The actual wireline experienced company man may reference things that may have been relevant when he was running a logger back in 1995 but were last applicable in 2001. Like if you had magnetic depth readings on your line. He'll delight in quizzing you questions geared towards showing his superior knowledge. He will spend excessive time in the logger and regal you with stories all while providing you with a commentary on your every move. You'll probably get a tension headache. Have aspirin. There's a slight chance he might be cool but usually not. He's rare but not necessarily fun to run into.
If he's only a self-declared wireline expert, brace yourself. He'll suggest with the authority of deity, jaw droppingly stupid things. The good news is your management will actively advocate that you ignore him, he will not. You're best bet in defeating him is to get your manager on the phone. That's what they get the big bucks for for. Once had to explain to one of these how adiabatic heating is a very real thing and can very really melt wireline and why I insisted on a slow pressuring up. He was sure the slow pressure up was the reason we were having issues falling.
Pros: Chances of him being cool are slim. If he is, there's a slight chance he'll be more understanding of any problems you have.
Cons: Headaches and having to argue about stupid things you shouldn't have to explain because he doesn't actually understand.
7. The Nervous Nelly
Your not really sure how this guy got this job in the first place, he really should be in safety. A reportable incident is around every corner and every operation could result in someone's death. He wrings his hands if he sees one of your operators without gloves.
He actually really enjoys telling stories about people who've been killed during the safety meeting. Minor problems and/or necessary minor deviations from operational protocol cause him heartburn.
He will be impressed with a thorough JSA and the usage of the phrase "doing the job safely". He's definitely not the worst person you'll ever have to work for even though in some ways he does embody an OSHA manual. He's generally a pretty nice person even if dealing with him is extra.
Pros: He's unlikely to be in to much of a rush and will likely give you time.
Cons: If there's any kind of an incident, you'll legitimately worry about him having a stroke.
He actually really enjoys telling stories about people who've been killed during the safety meeting. Minor problems and/or necessary minor deviations from operational protocol cause him heartburn.
He will be impressed with a thorough JSA and the usage of the phrase "doing the job safely". He's definitely not the worst person you'll ever have to work for even though in some ways he does embody an OSHA manual. He's generally a pretty nice person even if dealing with him is extra.
Pros: He's unlikely to be in to much of a rush and will likely give you time.
Cons: If there's any kind of an incident, you'll legitimately worry about him having a stroke.
8. I Do What I want Randy
This company man is rare but generally awesome. He usually owns the company or is the only guy the owner trust to supervise in the field and as such reserves the right to walk around location hard hat less, in sandals and smoking a cigar.
In general, he cares about you showing up on time, being able to rig-up efficiently and doing a good job. If you have minor issues and need extra time to correct them, he's likely to be understanding and realistic. He cares about things that actually matter. Likely to be foul mouthed and funny.
Pros: He gives less of a shit about whether your sun glasses have a Z-87 stamp on them.
Cons: None, some of the best customers to work for.
In general, he cares about you showing up on time, being able to rig-up efficiently and doing a good job. If you have minor issues and need extra time to correct them, he's likely to be understanding and realistic. He cares about things that actually matter. Likely to be foul mouthed and funny.
Pros: He gives less of a shit about whether your sun glasses have a Z-87 stamp on them.
Cons: None, some of the best customers to work for.
9. Corporate Know Nothing
This company man is generally an engineer of some kind who pissed someone off and rather than being in a Houston high rise, he got exiled to location in the middle of nowhere. He generally has no actual field experience to speak of. He's not happy about being there but because he needs to back in the good graces of his companies, needs everything to go perfectly. Beware of mentioning a possible minor issue, he's likely to lose his shit over it.
If you try explaining the 'why' of anything to him, you might as well explain evolution to a monkey. He thinks he's way smarter than you even though he has no idea what's going on.
Pros: He won't be in this job for long.
Cons: His lack of understanding of field operations will make the job hellish.
If you try explaining the 'why' of anything to him, you might as well explain evolution to a monkey. He thinks he's way smarter than you even though he has no idea what's going on.
Pros: He won't be in this job for long.
Cons: His lack of understanding of field operations will make the job hellish.
10. Rule Book Dick
Forget to put a date the JSA? Didn't do a pre-lift meeting? Is your H2S monitor on your hard hat instead of your collar? Are your coveralls tucked into your boots? The Rulebook Dick is on it and out to make this job fucking miserable.
The Rulebook Dick company man is often the end product of companies that hold their corporate policies to the heads of their company men with the ever present threat that even the most minor violation or incident on location will be cause for termination. These companies delight in "comprehensive safety", "safety audits" and "safety culture". They have a constant overbearing emphasis on safety but are often usually the same company who will rush an operation and skip steps in the name of saving money. They're fine with asking you to take a risky shortcut, so long as you're crew is shaved, have proper PPE, the JSA is filled out and they are cleared of the liability of the stupid dangerous shit they want done. Their "Safety/HSE/Risk Management" overlords in Houston have warped sense of risk and zero understanding of how work is actually done, the result is toxic overbearing paperwork heavy HSE policies that do nothing to improve safety and a lot to increase hassle and clear them of any liability. Generally these companies are run by the unholy union of finance people who will stop at nothing to save a few dollars and lawyers who will do anything to shield the company. Neither will have ever turned a wrench and their policies are a toxic reflection of that, as is their company man.
The Rulebook Dick is often less a company man than he is a facilitator of CYA paperwork for the company. He might actually be a nice guy but he works for dick-ish company who constantly reminds him his job is at stake. As a result, he's usually a dick.
Pros: None.
Cons: Even if the job tickets are good, you still hate working for this customer.
The Rulebook Dick company man is often the end product of companies that hold their corporate policies to the heads of their company men with the ever present threat that even the most minor violation or incident on location will be cause for termination. These companies delight in "comprehensive safety", "safety audits" and "safety culture". They have a constant overbearing emphasis on safety but are often usually the same company who will rush an operation and skip steps in the name of saving money. They're fine with asking you to take a risky shortcut, so long as you're crew is shaved, have proper PPE, the JSA is filled out and they are cleared of the liability of the stupid dangerous shit they want done. Their "Safety/HSE/Risk Management" overlords in Houston have warped sense of risk and zero understanding of how work is actually done, the result is toxic overbearing paperwork heavy HSE policies that do nothing to improve safety and a lot to increase hassle and clear them of any liability. Generally these companies are run by the unholy union of finance people who will stop at nothing to save a few dollars and lawyers who will do anything to shield the company. Neither will have ever turned a wrench and their policies are a toxic reflection of that, as is their company man.
The Rulebook Dick is often less a company man than he is a facilitator of CYA paperwork for the company. He might actually be a nice guy but he works for dick-ish company who constantly reminds him his job is at stake. As a result, he's usually a dick.
Pros: None.
Cons: Even if the job tickets are good, you still hate working for this customer.
11. The Christian
This company man is more prevalent than you'd think. He's usually quiet, mild mannered, polite and has 5 children. One of the more pleasant people you'll work with. If you have issues, he's likely to be understanding and realistic about the situation. He's likely to have quite a bit of field experience himself and be a hard worker. Even if you screw up, he's unlikely to curse and scream at you.
He may believe that oil came from dinosaurs that were buried 5,000 years ago during Noah's flood but you'll like working with him anyways. He'll like you if you listen attentively to his hour long explanation of the book of Genesis. He likes any biblical jokes you tell, even if they're lame. Example: Did you know there's a Honda in the Bible? Jesus and his disciples went in one ACCORD.
Pros: He's generally a really nice guy.
Cons: You can't curse. He may complain to your manager about any profanity overheard.
He may believe that oil came from dinosaurs that were buried 5,000 years ago during Noah's flood but you'll like working with him anyways. He'll like you if you listen attentively to his hour long explanation of the book of Genesis. He likes any biblical jokes you tell, even if they're lame. Example: Did you know there's a Honda in the Bible? Jesus and his disciples went in one ACCORD.
Pros: He's generally a really nice guy.
Cons: You can't curse. He may complain to your manager about any profanity overheard.
`12. The Backstabber
This company man is just a little too nice and personable on location. That's your first clue. As far as you know, everything went well and the company is happy, right?
Wrong.
You're manager will pull you into the office and chew you out because he got calls from the company man that "only 2 sets of logs were delivered". Did they actually want 4 sets? Well the company man could have actually told you that. Or he saw your crew sitting in the truck and eating and he didn't like that. He didn't think the logger was clean enough. He could have said something about it on location and given you the opportunity to tell him you came straight to this job from another job. He saw your truck parked 2 degrees off the angle he thought it should be. He thinks should have been running the log faster.
The issues this company man will run to your manager with are usually petty and could be easily resolved on location if he in fact had the balls to come to the logger and raise them himself.
This company man desperately wants to be cool and liked and therefore is unable to be a boss and has issues resolving minor problems on location hence his favored tactic of being a tattle-tail.
Pros: He doesn't have balls and therefore is unlikely to yell at you on location.
Cons: He's a ball-less backstabber who will make you look like an ass to your management over petty issues.
Wrong.
You're manager will pull you into the office and chew you out because he got calls from the company man that "only 2 sets of logs were delivered". Did they actually want 4 sets? Well the company man could have actually told you that. Or he saw your crew sitting in the truck and eating and he didn't like that. He didn't think the logger was clean enough. He could have said something about it on location and given you the opportunity to tell him you came straight to this job from another job. He saw your truck parked 2 degrees off the angle he thought it should be. He thinks should have been running the log faster.
The issues this company man will run to your manager with are usually petty and could be easily resolved on location if he in fact had the balls to come to the logger and raise them himself.
This company man desperately wants to be cool and liked and therefore is unable to be a boss and has issues resolving minor problems on location hence his favored tactic of being a tattle-tail.
Pros: He doesn't have balls and therefore is unlikely to yell at you on location.
Cons: He's a ball-less backstabber who will make you look like an ass to your management over petty issues.
13. The Empty Trailer
There's circumstantial evidence that he might exist and might even be on location but you have yet to meet him. He might be a ghost, yet you somehow get all of the well info from somewhere and finally conjure him up at the end of the job to sign the field ticket.
Pros: He's not around
Cons: He's not around
Pros: He's not around
Cons: He's not around
14. The Competent PotHead
He's done more drugs than both of your parents in the 80's combined and your pretty sure he's lit up within the last hour. He's funny, laid back and makes hard jobs way more bearable. Did you bridge out and the rig needs to run in and do a wiper trip? No problem, it happens. Whatever company he works for, they probably have an unspoken exception in their drug policy and that's lucky for you because he's awesome to work for.
Most people who've worked in the oilfield for a long time and also have done alot of drugs are usually great to work with. Probably helps cope with the stress. That's something HR will never admit but we all know is true.
Pros: He's awesome to work for and a random HSE drug search is super unlikely on location.
Cons: What cons?
Most people who've worked in the oilfield for a long time and also have done alot of drugs are usually great to work with. Probably helps cope with the stress. That's something HR will never admit but we all know is true.
Pros: He's awesome to work for and a random HSE drug search is super unlikely on location.
Cons: What cons?
15. The New-HiRe
He has no idea what is going on and you have no idea how he got hired - extreme nepotism is suspected. He asks asinine question but yet has no idea what size casing is being run. He's supremely confident in what little he knows. Doesn't understand why it's important that he be good at certain aspects of his job and why mistakes can be expensive.
Usually lacks humility and ability to listen.
Pros: If something really goes wrong, he'll probably freak out and go with whatever you suggest. Will cower if yelled at by a operator.
Cons: Dunning-Kruger effect.
Usually lacks humility and ability to listen.
Pros: If something really goes wrong, he'll probably freak out and go with whatever you suggest. Will cower if yelled at by a operator.
Cons: Dunning-Kruger effect.
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